Facebook is the body snatcher of the 21st century - poem

Chris: poke..poke..poke

see that shit wouldnt be very funny or friendly

if everytime i saw a cute honey walk by and catch my eye

i poked her right in the gut

but instead we do this shit behind a screen

and the evil site that gives us these means

is so addicting we might as well be crack fiends

and this evil is better known as? motherfuckin facebook

and when we do this poking on facebook

what we're really trying to say is hey..i wanna poke you

and instead of askin for her number?

you decided to just look it up in her profile last night

which led to what proved to be one of the most

awkward conversations in history

(riiing)

Shaun: "hi..jen?

yea this is ben...ben

i sat next to you at that basketball game 2 months ago..

no we didnt talk i couldnt say anything i had a sore throat that day..

o i looked it up on facebook and..hello? hello?"

Chris: so now you stuck leavin even more awkard comments on her wall like..

"it was really great seeing you across the dining hall on tuesday

hehe..colon parenthesis"

Shaun: but its not just facebook that’s got us hooked

apparently im away all day long

according to aim

but in reality im sitting right here

i just feel it adds an aura of mystery

to my otherwise plain self

because thats where im free

to drop my philosophies or my favorite song of the moment like..

"Beautiful, you’re beautiful, its, true”

Chris: or just some bullshit to make myself laugh like..

"cmooooon titty"

Shaun: With all of the so called terror going on at home and abroad from super secret agencies and show governments like the cia, kgg, and lehigh’s board of trustees, i think we have gotten away from who the real enemy is here..that’s right: A-O-L! and the evil antonyms don’t stop there people.

You typed lol (but I don’t think you were actually laughing)

I typed brb (but I was still here)

I had my away message up, but I was screeing i-m’s because there’s a lot

of buddy’s on my buddy list that I aint so buddy buddy with

Chris: You see its all a conspiracy hatched by the man and anti-interaction groups that conspire to conspire to keep us trapped in fibercyberoptic bullshit and lured into online stalking and destroying our rights to privacy by encouraging us all to put our life stories in our away messages when honestly, I don’t give a fuck where you went last night or how much fun you had

Especially if I wasn’t there!

Shaun: Now women…we don’t mean to categorize demean nor sound ignorant we mean we’re the good guys we saw the vagina monologues a couple weeks ago and paid attention to more than just the surprise triple orgasm moan (Chris moans, awkward moment) but we realize this in an of itself an ignorant statement and I know the women in the crowd are bracing for some possibly offensive shit kind of life when minorities can sense some ridiculous pronouncement is about to escape the vocal cords of a white man who then defends his lack of sensitivity by saying

“I’m not racist

I have a black friend! I have a black friend!”

Shit, in the midst of all my rambling I lost my point, but this is the point.

Chris: Technology is eeevil,

Shaun: And if we’re not careful, we’re going to start using lol in real life conversations and texting instead of talking when we’re less than 10 feet away from each other.

Wait, I’ve done that…